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A highway patrolman pulled up alongside a speeding car on the freeway. As the officer peered through the driver's window, he was astounded to find that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting. The trooper cranked down his window and yelled to the driver, "Pull over!" at the top of his lungs. "No!" the blonde yelled back, "Scarf!"
A teacher is instructing her fourth grade class, and she's telling them that the word of the day is 'contagious.' She asks if anyone can use this word in a sentence, and several students raise their hands. "Carl," she says. Carl says, "My dad told me to stay away from kids with mumps 'cause they're contagious." "Very good," says the teacher. Then she picks Suzie, who says, "The atmosphere was contagious." The teacher says, "Excellent, Suzie!" Then she notices that little Johnny has his hand up at the back of the class. "Yes, Johnny?" Johnny says, "The other day, me and my dad's a-sittin' around, and we saw our blonde neighbour painting her fence. She had a tiny little model car paintbrush, and she was going in tiny little strokes up and down the fence, and my dad says to me, 'Jesus, it's gonna take that cunt ages to finish that fence.'"
A blonde calls her mom...
"Mom mom!! I'm a genius!"
"Really dear? How's that possible?"
"I finished a puzzle that I've been working on for 1 year and on the box it said 'for 2-5 yrs'"
One day a blonde decided to go horse back riding.
After a very long search, she finally found a horse she thought she could ride. Things started off well enough, slowly trotting along, but soon the undulations started going faster and faster.
Being unexperienced at horseback riding the blonde started to fall off. She tried everything, grabbing the mane, then she tried to grab the saddle, but could not hold on.
Seconds before falling off, the horse finally stopped, allowing her to get off, and gratefully thank the shopper for unplugging the mechanical horse as they were about to enter the department store.
A blonde government supervisor called in a subordinate regarding his failure to complete his last task.
Blonde: Sam, I see you only converted 4 out of the 5 books I asked you to convert to Braille. As you know our state needs to make our publications available to everyone including the blind.
Sam: Yes, of course.
Blonde: So what happened with that fifth book?
Sam: You mean the automobile driving manual?
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