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A man was reading the paper when an ad caught his eye. It loudly announced, "New Porsche, $500!"
The man thought it had to be a joke, but he said to himself, "Just in case, it's worth a shot."
So he called the number and then went to the home of the lady selling the sports car. She led him into the garage. Sure enough, there was an almost brand new Porsche.
"Wow!" the man said, "Can I take it for a test drive?"
"Sure," answered the lady.
The man was surprised to learn that the car ran perfectly.
When he got back to the lady's house, he asked her, "Why are you selling me this great Porsche for only $500?"
Then the lady replied with a laugh, "My husband just ran off with his secretary, and he told me, 'You can have the house and the furniture, just sell my Porsche and send me the money.'"
Two friends talking. "My wife drives like lighting!"
"You mean fast"?
"No, she always hits trees!"
There were three guys talking in a bar.
Two of them talked about the amount of control they had in their marriages, while the third remained quiet.
After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says, "Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?"
The third fellow says, "I'll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees."
The first two guys were amazed. "Wow! What happened then?" they asked.
The third man took a healthy swallow of his beer, sighed and explained, "She said, 'Get out from under this bed and fight like a man.'"
Mary was married to a male chauvinist. They both worked full time, but he never did anything around the house and certainly not any housework -- that, he declared, was woman's work.
But one evening Mary arrived home from work to find the children bathed, a load of wash in the washing machine and another in the dryer, dinner on the stove and a beautifully set table, complete with flowers.
She was astonished, and she immediately wanted to know what was going on. It turned out that Charley, her husband, had read a magazine article that suggested working wives would be more romantically inclined if they weren't so tired from having to do all the housework in addition to holding down a full-time job.
The next day, she couldn't wait to tell her friends in the office. "How did it work out?" they asked.
"Well, it was a great dinner," Mary said. "Charley even cleaned up, helped the kids with their homework, folded the laundry and put everything away."
"But what about afterward?" her friends wanted to know.
"Oh -- that didn't work out," Mary said. "Charley was too tired."
A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.
"You'll get your chance in court." said the Desk Sergeant.
"No, you don't understand!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"
A woman and her husband interrupt their vacation to go to the dentist. After waiting up front impatiently for a few minutes, they are called back to an examining room.
When the dentist enters the room, the woman is very direct. "I want a tooth pulled, and I don't want any Novocain because I'm in a big hurry," she said. "Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, throw some gauze on it and we'll be on our way."
The dentist was quite impressed. "You're certainly a courageous woman," he said. "I don't think I could have a tooth extracted without drugs, no matter how much of a hurry I was in. Which tooth is it?"
The woman turns to her husband and says, "Show him your bad tooth, dear."
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