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Two old friends were recounting their dreams.
"I dreamed I was on vacation," one man said fondly. "It was just me and my fishing rod and this big beautiful lake. What a dream."
"I had a great dream too," said the other. "I dreamed I was on a date with two beautiful women and having the time of my life."
His companion looked over and exhorted, "You dreamed you were with two women, and you didn't call me?"
"Oh, I did," said the other, "but your wife said you'd gone fishing."
Although this married couple enjoyed their new fishing boat together, it was the husband who was behind the wheel operating the boat.
He was concerned about what might happen in an emergency. So one day out on the lake he said to his wife, "Please take the wheel, dear. Pretend that I am having a heart attack. You must get the boat safely to shore and dock it."
So she drove the boat to shore.
Later that evening, the wife walked into the living room where her husband was watching television. She sat down next to him, switched the TV channel, and said to him, "Please go into the kitchen, dear. Pretend I'm having a heart attack and set the table, cook dinner and wash the dishes."
A man phoned home from his office and told his wife, "Something has just come up. I have a chance to go fishing for a week. It's the opportunity of a lifetime.
We leave right away, so pack my clothes, my fishing equipment and especially my blue silk pajamas. I'll be home in an hour to pick them up."
He went home in a hurry, grabbed everything and rushed off.
A week later, he returned.
His wife asked if he had a good trip.
"Oh yes!" he exclaimed. "But you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas."
His wife smiled and said, "Oh no I didn't. I put them in your tackle box!"
The young couple was at a baseball game. About halfway through the game, they noticed a much older couple in the seats below them.
They were being VERY affectionate. They looked like two teenagers. He had his arm around her most of the time. Every few minutes, one of them was whispering in the other's ear. They also would hold hands and gaze into each other's eyes, or nibble at their mate's ear. There was also a lot of giggling going on.
The young man said to his girlfriend, "I don't know whether to watch them or the game."
She said, "Watch THEM! You already KNOW how to play baseball."
One night a woman found her husband standing over their newborn baby's crib.
Silently she watched him. As he stood looking down at the sleeping infant, she saw on his face a mixture of emotions: disbelief, doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment, skepticism.
Touched by his unusual display of deep emotions, she felt her eyes grow moist. She slipped her arms around her husband.
"A penny for your thoughts," she lovingly whispered in his ear.
"It's amazing!" he replied. "I just can't see how anybody can make a crib like that for only $49.95!"
Once upon a time there was a Prince who, through no fault of his own was cast under a spell by an evil witch. The curse was that the Prince could speak only one word each year. However, he could save up the words so that if he did not speak for a whole year, then the following year he was allowed to speak two words.
One day he met a beautiful princess. She had ruby lips, golden hair and sapphire eyes. He fell madly in love. With the greatest difficulty he decided to refrain from speaking for two whole years so that he could look at her and say "my darling". But at the end of the two years he wished to tell her that he loved her. So he waited three more years without speaking, bringing the total number of silent years to 5.
But at the end of these five years he realized that he had to ask her to marry him. So he waited ANOTHER four years without speaking.
Finally as the ninth year of silence ended, his joy knew no bounds. Leading the lovely princess to the most secluded and romantic place in that beautiful royal garden the prince heaped a hundred red roses on her lap, knelt before her, and taking her hand in his, said huskily, "My darling, I love you! Will you marry me?"
The princess tucked a strand of golden hair behind a dainty ear, opened her sapphire eyes in wonder, and parting her ruby lips, said: "Pardon?"
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