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One Russian and one Polish workman were digging the
foundations for a new road. After several hours of hard toil, the
Polish guy hits his shovel on something hard in the ground. Both men
work hurriedly to dig the object out and discover that its a treasure
chest. On opening it they find jewels, coins, gold etc. beyond their
wildest dreams. Both are wild with happiness and dance around
madly. When they have calmed down, the Russian takes the Polish
workman's hand and ernestly says "Sir, we will share this just like
Russian - Polish comrades should" and the Polish guy says,
"Oh no, 50 - 50".
A Russian party-official arrives late at night to his hotel
(in Russia). He is not surprised to find that his reservation has been
mislaid but he is more than a little peeved that his status in the
party isn't enough to get him a good room anyway. However, the clerk
insists, the only bed they have left is the fourth bunk in a 4-bed
dorm - he'll have to make do with that. The Russian grumbles but
eventually he picks up his suitcase and heads for the dorm. On his
way, he meets a chamber-maid and thinking he might as well try to make
friends with his room-mates, he asks her to bring them four cups of
tea.
As he enters the dorm, he finds that the other three guests
are Polish, they are having a fairly wild party and they're *very*
drunk. They also ignore him totally from the moment he enters. After
sitting there for several minutes, he realizes he can't stand them
anymore and decides to pull a joke on them. He stands up, grasps a
floor lamp and speaking into the light-bulb as if it were a microphone
he says: "Comrade Colonel, we would like four cups of tea to our room
immediately!" The Poles stare at him in disbelief, which turns to
horror as the chamber-maid knocks on the door and delivers the tea a
few minutes later. In about 30 seconds the Poles have all packed their
bags and fled the hotel. Our Russian gets the entire room to
himself. He sleeps very soundly.
The next morning, however, as he's checking out and is about
to leave, the desk-clerk calls after him:
"By the way, Sir, the Comrade Colonel said to tell you he
appreciated your little joke last night!"
Q: How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast?
A: They marched in backwards and the Polish thought they were leaving.
Q: Why do Polish police cars have stripes on the side?
A: So the cops can find the handles.
A patient goes to a polish doctor.
Patient: I am having a hard time hearing. I cannot even hear myself
cough.
Doctor: Here is a prescription, take the midicine for 7 days,
then return for a checkup.
Seven days later....
Patient: Thanks a million Doctor; at least I can hear myself cough now.
So what did you do to make me hear better?
Doctor: Not much, I gave you medicine that increased your caugh.
Q: What do you do if a Polak throws a pin at you?
A: Run like hell - he's still got a hand-grenade between his teeth.
Q: What do you do if a Polak throws a hand-grenade at you?
A: Take the pin out and throw it back.
An Englishman, a Frenchman and a Polak were captured by the
Germans and thrown into prison. However, the guard was rather kind
towards them, and said, "I am going to lock you away for five years,
_but_ I'll let you have anything you want now before I lock you away."
The Englishman says, "I'll have five years' supply of beer!"
His wish is granted, and they lock him away with his beer.
The Frenchman says, "I'll have five years' supply of brandy!"
His wish is granted, and they lock him away with his brandy.
The Polak says, "I'll have five years' supply of cigarettes!"
His wish is granted, and they lock him away with his cigarettes.
Five years later, the Germans come to release their
prisoners. First, they release the Englishman, who staggers out
totally drunk. Then, they release the Frenchman, who also rolls out
rather inebriated. Then, they release the Polak, who comes out and
says, "Has anyone got a light?"
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