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Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section." A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome.
Q: What is a seizure? A: A Roman emperor.
Q: What is a terminal illness? A: When you are sick at the airport
Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature? A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.
Q: What does the word "benign" mean? A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
Q: What is a turbine? A: Something an Arab wears on his head.
You might be a redneck if you mow your grass and find three cars.
You might be a redneck if you think the first four words of the national anthem are, ''Gentlemen start your engines''.
Q: What is a double-wide salad?
A: It's for people who can't afford a house salad.
You know you're a redneck if you have sex ed and drivers ed in the same car.
One day George W. went out to dinner with a Jewish friend. The friend recommended a kosher place nearby.
They arrived and Dubya's friend ordered them both the house specialty: matzo ball soup. The waiter brought the bowls and George looked at the soup suspiciously, but his friend urged him to try at least one taste. So he took a bite of matzo ball and slurped some soup and clearly liked it.
After Dubya was finished he said, "Mmm mmm, that was good! But tell me, do you Jewish folks eat other parts of the matzo, or just the balls?"
How many rednecks does it take to eat a possum?
Three. One to eat it, and two to watch for cars.
Two rednecks are driving down the highway, drinking their beer, when flashing lights from a policeman appear in the driver's rear-view mirror. ''Don't worry!'' says the driver to his friend, ''Just do exactly what I tell you and everything will work out perfectly. First, we'll peel the labels off our beer bottles and we'll each stick one on our forehead. Now shove all of the bottles under the front seat! And, let me do all the talking!''
They pull over to the side of the road and the cop walks up to the car. He shines his flashlight into the car and looks at the two drunks. ''Have you been drinking?'' he asks them.
''Oh no Sir,'' replies the driver.
''I noticed you weaving back and forth across the highway. Are you sure you haven't been drinking?'' the cop asks.
''Oh, no sir,'' the drunk answers. ''We haven't had a thing to drink tonight.''
''Well, I've got to ask you,'' says the cop, ''What on earth are those things on your forehead?''
''That's easy, Officer,'' says the drunk. ''You see, we're both alchoholics, and we're on the patch!''
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